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I Will Be Heard

In late October 2006 I was living in Calgary and went to see Hatebreed for the first time. Before going I wasn't sure exactly what to expect from the pit. I had assumed that there'd be slamdancers/2 steppers/spin kickers...blah blah blah. When me and my buddy Ryan got to the show and the festivities commenced I noticed that there were 3 basic groups of attendees. The people standing on the outside; nodding and such, maybe dancing a bit..but mostly just soaking in the music, the stage show and the antics going on within the pit. There were the people on the outer edges of the pit; 2 stepping a little maybe throwing in some other dance maneuvers that hardcore kids like but not being (in my opinion) dickholes with the flailing and kicking. Then there were the people in the 'middle' of the pit swinging their arms giving 110%, spin kicking and all around douching hard. At the core of the melee there was a young? man fully dressed in a santa suit who I have to assume spent 4 hours a day practicing his spin kicks and other ultra cool dance moves. There was no one within a 6 foot radius of this 'hardcore king'. To say cheese dick was a little over the top would be an understatement.

Near the turn of the aughts Doritos figured that it'd be a great idea to release 3 different heat intensities of chips flavours. 1st Degree Burn: Blazin' Jalapeno, 2nd Degree Burn: Fiery Buffalo and 3rd Degree Burn: Scorchin' Habanero. It's been a minute since I've tried those chips but if my memory doesn't fail, I remember 1st Degree being weak, you could eat as much as you wanted but the heat was pretty much non-existant. 2nd degree was okay, I think they'd start to induce the forehead sweats near the end of a small bag. The 3rd degree chips were aggressively hot (with more of an acidic heat rather than pepper), after the first few chips it became a feat of strength just to finish a small bag..not enjoyable. Suffice to say, Doritos' genius 3 degrees of heat idea didn't last long..big surprise. Luckily they went back to the drawing board and a few years ago came up with a genius idea of  Doritos Roulette. Basically they have taken the 3 degrees of heat, threw them all in one bag and now it's a random draw as to how hot the chip you eat will be.

A room full of slamdancing santas, fucking terrible. A room full of passive 2 steppers can be okay but at the end of the day it lacks the excitement that the extremes can bring. If you're at a metalcore/hardcore show that has hundreds of attendees all of them are standing (mostly still) staring at the stage with very little emotion..well, snore. The wallflowers need hardcore santa so that they can have something other than the band to entertain, to add a sense of danger. The 2 steppers provide the necessary buffer so that when santa gets carried away shit doesn't go all fiddle faddle foe. When you combine all three pit personalities together you get an experience that everyone can enjoy (even though sometimes you get too many 3rd degree in a row it can start to fuck your shit up, but that's just the chance that you're taking when you spin the wheel).

Stay hydrated,
Marc

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